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So, instead of going to costuming for clean costumes today, I spent the evening playing at Epcot.
I got started really late, so I didn't get to do a whole hell of a lot, but honestly? Just being in the park was a pick-me-up. I'm glad I went.
First stop was Mouse Gear, and then Art of Disney, where I spent ENTIRELY TOO MUCH MONEY - I bought the sorceror Mickey I wanted, and a bunch of pins, and a snowglobe I sent home to my parents because it was about damn time I sent them something, and a Belle picture to go with my Aurora and Jasmine. (Though it may end up going to my coworker. Tomorrow's her birthday, and she loves Belle as much as I do if not more.) Then, since basically nothing else was open in Future World, I meandered out through World Showcase.
Even though I didn't really do anything there, just walking through World Showcase is an experience. It's a lot of fun going from the UK to France, to Morocco, to Japan... Japan nearly killed me, when I went into Mitsukoshi looking for a Roxas figure. My neglected inner Japanophile had a happy geekgasm in there, and while I do love Disney, it was kind of nice to bathe in pure Japan geekery for a little while.
Of course I bought Pocky.
I didn't go any farther than Japan, though, because on the other side of Japan is the American Adventure and I'd decided that for tonight, I wasn't going anywhere near America. Fuck America. I work in America. Tonight I play, and I'm miles away.
After I finished up in Japan, I wandered back to Morocco to wait for IllumiNations, since all the good sitting space in Japan was taken. While waiting, I saw a guy with a birthday pin, so I talked to him. (I swear, I can't turn my cast member brain off even when I'm here as a guest. It's actually probably a good thing - it's opening me up.) It was just... a lot of fun. It doesn't sound like much, but so much of it was just in the little things - showing my ID for a discount when I bought things and making the "oh, you work here too!" connection with the cast, attempting (and failing miserably, treacherous tongue!) to speak Japanese with a cast member in Japan, talking to the other guests, even just watching other guests enjoying themselves...
It was definitely the mood lifter I needed. I've had a couple really dark days at Liberty Inn, discovering how much I hate kitchen work. Yesterday I was seriously considering self-termination just to get out of the god damn kitchen, I didn't think I'd make it.
Playing in the parks really does help with a greater perspective, though. I don't have the most glamorous job, but I am playing a small part in making the guests happy - and while that sounds great on paper, it takes going out and seeing the guests, being one of the guests, once in a while to really understand. ... Plus, going to the parks for free as a cast member is really awesome, I've been taking it for granted. It's like having your own neighborhood park, it becomes another place you can call home. And that's an awesome privilege. If putting up with Liberty Inn bullshit is what I have to do to be able to call Walt's world "home" for three more months, then by god I will do it.
Besides, I've already grown and learned so much in just a month. I can't deny myself the opportunity to become an even better person, just because kitchen work sucks. I'll keep my chin up, I'll do what I can to get assigned to the roles I'm better suited for more often, and I'll stay strong.
If nothing else, I want to stay just for more opportunities like the one I had tonight.
It was after the park had closed. Everyone was heading to the monorail, and because it was such a crowd, we had to wait. (I could have slipped out a cast exit and taken the CP bus home, but I like the monorails and feel guilty using cast channels when I'm attending as a guest.) I sat down on one of the benches to wait, and before too long a boy sat down next to me. He was an older kid but not too old yet, maybe 10-11. As he sat down, I noticed he was wearing a Give Kids The World pin, so I said hi to him, and talked to him a little about the park.
I thought of my bags full of stuff, way too much stuff, and especially all the pins I had.
Before I could overthink myself I reached in, found a randomized box I hadn't even opened yet, opened it, and took out a pin. (It turned out to be some of the 101 Dalmatians, which I would have traded anyway, but I think anything but a princess would have been okay, even if I wanted it myself.) And I gave it to him.
He was surprised - even at Disney World, how often do strangers just hand you pins? - and happy.
It was kind of a low-key reaction, but I could still see his eyes light up, saw him sit a little straighter. He thanked me, we introduced ourselves and shook hands, and while we didn't talk any more after that I saw him turning the pin over in his hands for the rest of the wait, looking at it from every angle.
It was so easy. It took me ten seconds. And now he has a memory of a girl at the monorail station at Epcot, who gave him a pin for no reason, just because she had it to give.
I'm finally getting it, I think. The magic we make here isn't anything complicated. It isn't even the show we perform onstage. It's reaching out to someone, even just for a moment, and making them feel special. I wasn't a cast member today, I was just another guest - but I had that opportunity, and I took it, because of what I've learned in the last month.
A month ago I probably wouldn't have even talked to that kid. I'd have felt too awkward, wrestled with myself, overthought it, and ultimately walked away regretful.
Ha, and it's the silliest thing, but it was like a perfect capstone to the experience, summed everything up for me. I'd bought a pair of Mickey ears on my way out of the park - one of the pink-bandanna "Pirate Princess" ones, just because I wanted it - and wore them all the way home.
After I got off the monorail, still feeling kind of warm and happy from what I'd done, I looked down and saw my shadow, with the big round ears.
Yeah, I think I'll stay.
I got started really late, so I didn't get to do a whole hell of a lot, but honestly? Just being in the park was a pick-me-up. I'm glad I went.
First stop was Mouse Gear, and then Art of Disney, where I spent ENTIRELY TOO MUCH MONEY - I bought the sorceror Mickey I wanted, and a bunch of pins, and a snowglobe I sent home to my parents because it was about damn time I sent them something, and a Belle picture to go with my Aurora and Jasmine. (Though it may end up going to my coworker. Tomorrow's her birthday, and she loves Belle as much as I do if not more.) Then, since basically nothing else was open in Future World, I meandered out through World Showcase.
Even though I didn't really do anything there, just walking through World Showcase is an experience. It's a lot of fun going from the UK to France, to Morocco, to Japan... Japan nearly killed me, when I went into Mitsukoshi looking for a Roxas figure. My neglected inner Japanophile had a happy geekgasm in there, and while I do love Disney, it was kind of nice to bathe in pure Japan geekery for a little while.
Of course I bought Pocky.
I didn't go any farther than Japan, though, because on the other side of Japan is the American Adventure and I'd decided that for tonight, I wasn't going anywhere near America. Fuck America. I work in America. Tonight I play, and I'm miles away.
After I finished up in Japan, I wandered back to Morocco to wait for IllumiNations, since all the good sitting space in Japan was taken. While waiting, I saw a guy with a birthday pin, so I talked to him. (I swear, I can't turn my cast member brain off even when I'm here as a guest. It's actually probably a good thing - it's opening me up.) It was just... a lot of fun. It doesn't sound like much, but so much of it was just in the little things - showing my ID for a discount when I bought things and making the "oh, you work here too!" connection with the cast, attempting (and failing miserably, treacherous tongue!) to speak Japanese with a cast member in Japan, talking to the other guests, even just watching other guests enjoying themselves...
It was definitely the mood lifter I needed. I've had a couple really dark days at Liberty Inn, discovering how much I hate kitchen work. Yesterday I was seriously considering self-termination just to get out of the god damn kitchen, I didn't think I'd make it.
Playing in the parks really does help with a greater perspective, though. I don't have the most glamorous job, but I am playing a small part in making the guests happy - and while that sounds great on paper, it takes going out and seeing the guests, being one of the guests, once in a while to really understand. ... Plus, going to the parks for free as a cast member is really awesome, I've been taking it for granted. It's like having your own neighborhood park, it becomes another place you can call home. And that's an awesome privilege. If putting up with Liberty Inn bullshit is what I have to do to be able to call Walt's world "home" for three more months, then by god I will do it.
Besides, I've already grown and learned so much in just a month. I can't deny myself the opportunity to become an even better person, just because kitchen work sucks. I'll keep my chin up, I'll do what I can to get assigned to the roles I'm better suited for more often, and I'll stay strong.
If nothing else, I want to stay just for more opportunities like the one I had tonight.
It was after the park had closed. Everyone was heading to the monorail, and because it was such a crowd, we had to wait. (I could have slipped out a cast exit and taken the CP bus home, but I like the monorails and feel guilty using cast channels when I'm attending as a guest.) I sat down on one of the benches to wait, and before too long a boy sat down next to me. He was an older kid but not too old yet, maybe 10-11. As he sat down, I noticed he was wearing a Give Kids The World pin, so I said hi to him, and talked to him a little about the park.
I thought of my bags full of stuff, way too much stuff, and especially all the pins I had.
Before I could overthink myself I reached in, found a randomized box I hadn't even opened yet, opened it, and took out a pin. (It turned out to be some of the 101 Dalmatians, which I would have traded anyway, but I think anything but a princess would have been okay, even if I wanted it myself.) And I gave it to him.
He was surprised - even at Disney World, how often do strangers just hand you pins? - and happy.
It was kind of a low-key reaction, but I could still see his eyes light up, saw him sit a little straighter. He thanked me, we introduced ourselves and shook hands, and while we didn't talk any more after that I saw him turning the pin over in his hands for the rest of the wait, looking at it from every angle.
It was so easy. It took me ten seconds. And now he has a memory of a girl at the monorail station at Epcot, who gave him a pin for no reason, just because she had it to give.
I'm finally getting it, I think. The magic we make here isn't anything complicated. It isn't even the show we perform onstage. It's reaching out to someone, even just for a moment, and making them feel special. I wasn't a cast member today, I was just another guest - but I had that opportunity, and I took it, because of what I've learned in the last month.
A month ago I probably wouldn't have even talked to that kid. I'd have felt too awkward, wrestled with myself, overthought it, and ultimately walked away regretful.
Ha, and it's the silliest thing, but it was like a perfect capstone to the experience, summed everything up for me. I'd bought a pair of Mickey ears on my way out of the park - one of the pink-bandanna "Pirate Princess" ones, just because I wanted it - and wore them all the way home.
After I got off the monorail, still feeling kind of warm and happy from what I'd done, I looked down and saw my shadow, with the big round ears.
Yeah, I think I'll stay.