I've looked it over twice and can't see anything I don't like. The characters are likable, it's very well-written, as usual, and it makes me wanna read more. XD

But I do have a complaint. ^.^;;; Maybe it's because I'm so used to the Zenith-verse, but the piece has an very unfinished feel. Like it should go on but doesn't. While a very good work in terms of Zenith, is it really suitable for a short story contest when it feels more like a prologue than a stand-alone?

Then again, I have no idea of the guidelines for this contest, so don't ask me. XD And like you'd have enough time to do anything else!

So my final answer is, turn it in! Win a prize for me, nee? ^.~