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... I joke that I'd like to become an English teacher.
Some days I wonder if I'm really joking.
I'm much more lenient on speech, but if you are writing things down, then by god the majority of your writing had better be correctly capitalized, correctly punctuated, correctly spelled (with certain acceptable variants), and constructed in a way that makes sense, or I froth at the mouth.
Man, I would be the angriest, bitterest English teacher ever. Students would live in terror of me - save those who were already inclined to write properly, to whom I would probably be a shining hero. I would grade with no mercy. No, I will not give you a passing grade because you're on the football team, you will learn how to use the fucking comma or you will fail my class. I would probably end up losing my job, not because I was grading too harshly... but because when they told me that, I would go off ranting about the decline of communication and Don't You Think Education Is Important (You Bastards). I wouldn't say "you bastards". But I'd be thinking it very loudly.
Yeah. There are a few buttons that trigger my instant RAAAAAAAAAAGE. Language misuse is one of them. :D
Some days I wonder if I'm really joking.
I'm much more lenient on speech, but if you are writing things down, then by god the majority of your writing had better be correctly capitalized, correctly punctuated, correctly spelled (with certain acceptable variants), and constructed in a way that makes sense, or I froth at the mouth.
Man, I would be the angriest, bitterest English teacher ever. Students would live in terror of me - save those who were already inclined to write properly, to whom I would probably be a shining hero. I would grade with no mercy. No, I will not give you a passing grade because you're on the football team, you will learn how to use the fucking comma or you will fail my class. I would probably end up losing my job, not because I was grading too harshly... but because when they told me that, I would go off ranting about the decline of communication and Don't You Think Education Is Important (You Bastards). I wouldn't say "you bastards". But I'd be thinking it very loudly.
Yeah. There are a few buttons that trigger my instant RAAAAAAAAAAGE. Language misuse is one of them. :D
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For sexual harrassment, I'm assuming? ;D
The other day I learned that Canada apparently has a 99% literacy rate among adults. And I was so surprised and sort of "wha? Noooo, that's un-possible!"
...and then I was really depressed that I found it so incredible. Why does 99% of adults BEING ABLE TO READ seem surprising? Oh, America V-V
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They... they what? Oh god. LET'S ALL MOVE TO CANADA. No, better yet, let's have them send some school administrators and English teachers down here. Surely our neighbors to the north will help us in this time of linguistic crisis? Help us, Canada Kenobi, you're our only hope. ;_;
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Mm, no, you're probably better off moving up there. All the people who are proud they know how to read/spell/think can move and be happy. As it exists now, America would never accept the aid because
a)Accepting help from other countries would be like admitting defeat. THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON WE'RE FINE ALL BY OURSELVES FUCK OFF THANK YOU DON'T TELL US TO PUT DOWN THE SHOVEL WE'LL PUT IT DOWN WHEN WE'RE DAMN WELL AND READY.
and b)Ha ha your stupid becuz u now how to read u think and nobody reely cares about that stuff for reel it doesnt matter becuz u can still understand it. ha ha nerd.
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They'd smarten up pretty quick. I bet I'd only have to do that to a few kids before the stories of horrible Ms. Few started scaring all my other students straight. >D
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It irks me that people do not take the time to type out things correctly. Sure, you can talk like that if you want. Go ahead. On the internet, though, when the only way to communicate is by writing something down.
It's not even just the internet. In school I am baffled all the time by the constant misuse of the English language. Every time I get put in "writer's workshops" I can not help but cringe when I read what some people write. Yes, the I goes before the E. No, there really is such a thing as a comma. Are you sure you're supposed to be a Senior in High School?
Gah. I could keep going. But you've already pretty much spelled out how I feel. One of the jobs I would love to do is teach English so you know I feel.
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Protesters outside the Senate with signs that read "Enuf if Enuf but Enough is Too Much", that sort of thing.
...surely they can't be SERIOUS? They don't see the PROBLEMS that might come from this sort of system?
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And if you do that, kids'll just keep thinking "oh, spelling is optional", even kids that might otherwise SPELL CORRECTLY.
Gods on little pogo sticks.
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When I lived in philly, it amused my boss at game stop constantly that I'd lived there for a year and had somehow managed to resist calling bottled water "aboddala wadder"
Same problem. What the hell is wadder? Pronunciation differences and people just..not knowing how to say things in the first place would mean that no one would understand anyone ever again
Proposed Bill #25546: Let's make all of America stupid. >
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*weeps* *weeps so much*
This is why I ended up using Yukari for the original post rather than the equally-fitting grammar whore icon. Yukari is batshit, but her RAGE!! was more illustrative and I suspect she'd sympathize with me on this too. XD
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This's how it'd sound what if we spelled evrythng like we said. Now, if'in you 'scuse me, I gots ta go back to Grampa's baccer farm.
(My dad actually does this when he writes letters. It's sheer comedy. No one else in human history spells "I" as "Ah".)
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Let us pass the "Americans are STUPID" bill. I'm sure it'll do so much to help us all.
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Yeah. God. I'd learn to hate life pretty quickly as an English teacher, because there are so many morons and you can't just beat them all down with the learning stick.
*backpats*
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No matter what I teach, I'd froth at the mouth at my students. Portuguese doesn't have half as much mute consonants as english does, but, by god, the number of kids who keep mistaking FUTURE TENSE for PAST TENSE because they sound the same in THE SOUTH ONLY. And the graphic accents. Hahaha. Capitalization, punctuation and construction are universal problems as well. If people only bothered to READ MORE, they wouldn't need to study from books to get a grip on their languages.
And netspeak is starting to rise from the deep to swallow us all.
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If it makes you feel better, about the Canada thing: the test for literacy is if you can read, write and understand one sentence in a given language about yourself. Technically, I can pass the literacy test for Latin, even though I think the ancient Romans (and the Pope) could surely school me with their massive language abilities.