I hate this part.

[fuyu]

In a few hours, assuming we can find him at the appointment time, Pudge is going to be put down.

Pudge is our decrepit old tabby cat, sweet-natured if more than a little annoying, and one of my childhood cats. He's anywhere from 15 to 18 years old, and really, he's very sick - he's hyperthyroid and on meds, hunchbacked, I think arthritic, and even possibly a little senile. But I still, desperately, do not want to take him to die.

There's still a dewy-eyed 8-year-old on me who's going, "But we're taking him to the vet! They'll fix him up and he'll be okay!"

But he'd been improving on meds and then, just yesterday, had a sudden drop in weight, with dramatically sunken eyes and all, and was incredibly listless. His fur came out horrifyingly easily, well beyond the bounds of just shedding. His hunchback makes it difficult for him to walk, and his back claws aren't wearing down properly. Tonight I watched him climb up onto my desk with excruciating slowness.

...the fact of the matter is we just can't really make him comfortable any more.

And he is very, very old. He's had a good long life, for a cat.

I still don't want to see him die.

I'm going to be there, because I want the chance to say goodbye to him, and because I'm not making my mom go alone to do this. But it's going to break my fucking heart.

I grew up with that cat.

Comments

[raisedbymoogles.livejournal.com]

*snuggles so, so very tight*

[fuyu]

*hugs*

We may not have been that closely bonded, but I swear it's going to be like putting down my brother.

[anriko.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Been there done that. And it still sucks.

[fuyu]

Yeah. Euthanizing a pet will never not suck.

Ice cream and retail therapy are on the day's agenda.

[princealia.livejournal.com]

Losing something is never easy :/

*huggles*

[fuyu]

*hugs*

[area-woman.livejournal.com]

*HUG* I'm so sorry. I wish I could make him a kitten again for you.

One thing that helped (a little) for Sage and Pepper was to look at happy pictures of them.

[fuyu]

I don't know if we have that many pictures of him...

Thanks, though.

[bean-bunny.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. You're doing the right thing, though.

My condolences. He'll be in a better place.

[fel.livejournal.com]

Oh Jesus...*big hug* I'm really sorry, honey :/

[bassclefsolo.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. I've never been present when one of our pets was put down, so I can't give you anything there; all I've been able to do is provide hugs afterward. :(

[daisy-the-mage1.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel in some ways. My dog was put down a few years ago because he was so old and ill that he could not walk properly anymore and he was suffering a lot. I grew up with him. Although I wasn't there to see it and didn't hear of his death until hours later when Mum picked me up from school, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to give you much help on that.

But at least your cat won't be suffering anymore. So yes, I do agree with bean bunny you're doing the right thing.

[zippy-p-faye.livejournal.com]

You entry, uh, made me cry. I put down a childhood cat a while ago, too, and it's just... beyond painful. *tight, tight hug*

[taekwonangel.livejournal.com]

Much love and strength to you and your family. ♥

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

::hugs tight::

[lynxgriffin.livejournal.com]

*gives enormous hugs for you*

[nekokoban]

.________.

[HUGS SO MUCH]

[shunka-shuutou.livejournal.com]

*hugs* :/