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Feb. 9th, 2004 08:28 pmOkay, I want to know why it is I can't write.
I mean, you know, I can. But my drive is just... not there these days. I've gone sedentary. I know I should go back to Blood of the Planet. I should write that JJ x Drake lemon that JJ was so insistent on. I should write any given one of the Dr/JJ ficlings I have planned. I should start working on Life 101 strips. I should write any one of these plotbunnies that are bouncing around my head. SOMETHING. And I could, it's not that hard to just fricking open WordPad and start working. But I just can't be arsed. I mean, I did get that last little ficlet out, but when it comes to the stuff I SHOULD be working on...
Once upon a time, I could just sit down and write easily, and I could hammer out great big epics. I wrote one story, Feathers and Foxtails, which had a hiatus of a month or two in the middle, and I thought that was a really long time. Now it's been, like... how long since I actually looked at Blood of the Planet? I used to be able to write so quickly.
And my fic back then did suck. I hadn't learned how to write well yet. But when I go back and look at things I wrote five, six years ago, after I get over being embarrassed, I'm vaguely amazed. So I did write really weird plotlines with fairly cliche romance, so I did have a Sue or two (although I think they qualify more as plot devices than actual SUES - they weren't all-powerful, they were background characters and not everybody adored them, and they generally served as accessories to the plot more than anything else), but I did enjoy the plots I was working with, and I really did give a damn about TRYING. I can't hate my old fics, because for bad fics written by a prepubescent squealing fangirl, they weren't really THAT bad.
I'd love to be able to get that into a fic again. I'd love to be able to sit down and just WRITE. And I'd really love to be able to do it now, with my current level of skill, and do be able to keep doing in the future, when I'm better than I am now.
...I'd just really like to be able to write, plz kthxbai. -_-
I mean, you know, I can. But my drive is just... not there these days. I've gone sedentary. I know I should go back to Blood of the Planet. I should write that JJ x Drake lemon that JJ was so insistent on. I should write any given one of the Dr/JJ ficlings I have planned. I should start working on Life 101 strips. I should write any one of these plotbunnies that are bouncing around my head. SOMETHING. And I could, it's not that hard to just fricking open WordPad and start working. But I just can't be arsed. I mean, I did get that last little ficlet out, but when it comes to the stuff I SHOULD be working on...
Once upon a time, I could just sit down and write easily, and I could hammer out great big epics. I wrote one story, Feathers and Foxtails, which had a hiatus of a month or two in the middle, and I thought that was a really long time. Now it's been, like... how long since I actually looked at Blood of the Planet? I used to be able to write so quickly.
And my fic back then did suck. I hadn't learned how to write well yet. But when I go back and look at things I wrote five, six years ago, after I get over being embarrassed, I'm vaguely amazed. So I did write really weird plotlines with fairly cliche romance, so I did have a Sue or two (although I think they qualify more as plot devices than actual SUES - they weren't all-powerful, they were background characters and not everybody adored them, and they generally served as accessories to the plot more than anything else), but I did enjoy the plots I was working with, and I really did give a damn about TRYING. I can't hate my old fics, because for bad fics written by a prepubescent squealing fangirl, they weren't really THAT bad.
I'd love to be able to get that into a fic again. I'd love to be able to sit down and just WRITE. And I'd really love to be able to do it now, with my current level of skill, and do be able to keep doing in the future, when I'm better than I am now.
...I'd just really like to be able to write, plz kthxbai. -_-
