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Meh.
So my plotbunny appears to have slipped away. I guess it's not such a bad thing, I mean, I hardly need ANOTHER project (XD), but still, meh.
It's vaguely frustrating, now that I finally realize the problem: I love Fullmetal Alchemist, but I don't quite get it. I love Ed and Al, but I'm somehow essentially failing to understand them. I can watch and appreciate their characters, but when it comes down to it I really don't know what exactly makes Ed tick; or Al, for that matter. The plot I've laid out for the Al restoration fic... it's fun to ponder, I think it's interesting, I like it, and it works fine - but only up to the point where Al gets restored. After that, suddenly I can't get into the brothers' heads. I hit a dead end and can't make the pegs fit in the holes. This was probably the first sign that I should give it up. XD
It's vaguely disheartening, though. It was kind of nice being inspired to write again... Blood of the Planet, my beloved FF7 epic, I ended up finishing more out of a sense of obligation than any real inspiration. FMA was giving me plotbunnies - little ones, but they were plotbunnies - and now that I've realized that this full-size fic I was planning just simply isn't going to work right, suddenly I'm back to being "meh" and uninspired.
I'm mainly frustrated at myself here, I guess. Right now FMA is my Big Fandom. I adore it. But if I can't get the main characters, or the underlying themes of the series, well... not only does it kind of limit me, but makes me feel kind of inadequate, and doesn't bode well for my future endeavors. I have all these wonderful ideas in my head, but can I do them justice? Can I get behind my own characters well enough to give them flesh and blood and pathos? Can I understand important things well enough to give my worlds depth and my stories meaning? Am I even intrinsically capable of it?
Meh. I guess this is why I'm being a graphic designer rather than a writer.
It's vaguely frustrating, now that I finally realize the problem: I love Fullmetal Alchemist, but I don't quite get it. I love Ed and Al, but I'm somehow essentially failing to understand them. I can watch and appreciate their characters, but when it comes down to it I really don't know what exactly makes Ed tick; or Al, for that matter. The plot I've laid out for the Al restoration fic... it's fun to ponder, I think it's interesting, I like it, and it works fine - but only up to the point where Al gets restored. After that, suddenly I can't get into the brothers' heads. I hit a dead end and can't make the pegs fit in the holes. This was probably the first sign that I should give it up. XD
It's vaguely disheartening, though. It was kind of nice being inspired to write again... Blood of the Planet, my beloved FF7 epic, I ended up finishing more out of a sense of obligation than any real inspiration. FMA was giving me plotbunnies - little ones, but they were plotbunnies - and now that I've realized that this full-size fic I was planning just simply isn't going to work right, suddenly I'm back to being "meh" and uninspired.
I'm mainly frustrated at myself here, I guess. Right now FMA is my Big Fandom. I adore it. But if I can't get the main characters, or the underlying themes of the series, well... not only does it kind of limit me, but makes me feel kind of inadequate, and doesn't bode well for my future endeavors. I have all these wonderful ideas in my head, but can I do them justice? Can I get behind my own characters well enough to give them flesh and blood and pathos? Can I understand important things well enough to give my worlds depth and my stories meaning? Am I even intrinsically capable of it?
Meh. I guess this is why I'm being a graphic designer rather than a writer.