The Cure for the Common Cold, part the first

[fuyu]

"So do either of you know where the fuck JJ's crawled off to hide?"

Ryo looked up from the paperwork he had been filling out as Drake collapsed into his chair. Quickly swallowing his bite of sandwich, he answered, "Didn't anyone tell you? He had to take off sick."

"That's putting it nicely," Dee snorted, finishing off his potato chips. "He was assigned first shift today, right? Well, he came in looking like he'd just crawled out of his own grave. We practically had to shove him out the door to make him go home and rest."

Drake closed his eyes and groaned, unwrapping his sub sandwich. "That idiot. He seriously tried to report to work like that?"

"He did," Ryo said, returning to his paperwork. Dee glowered disapprovingly across his desk at his partner, who was eating his sandwich with one hand and doing the paperwork with the other.

"Why the hell do you do work at lunch, anyway? You make the rest of us look like bums."

"Well, some of you are," Ryo sniped lightly, once his mouth was no longer full. "Not to name names, of course."

"Oh, no, of course not," Dee said sarcastically. "Love you too. So anyway... yeah, JJ seriously looked bad. The Chief came in while we were trying to make him go the hell home and asked us what was going on. JJ saluted, and damn near fell over." He shook his head. "It was really pathetic."

Drake sighed and massaged his forehead. "Poor guy. He tries way too hard."

"Oh, I know. I think it broke his heart that he had to actually *use* all that sick leave he never fucking touches."

"As if you do," Ryo said distractedly, signing the form he'd been filling out and setting it aside. "You and JJ aren't too different in that regard."

Dee leaned back and chuckled. "Yeah, I'll give you that. I figure I'm good for about another twelve years before I get sick again."

Ryo smiled at that, looking up at his partner. "And the sad thing is, I think you're probably right."

Dee grinned broadly, leaning across his desk and propping his chin on his hand. "You think?"

Ryo's smile changed fractionally, into something clearly meant only for Dee. Drake immediately began to feel very uncomfortable with the situation, and cleared his throat before Ryo and Dee got any closer to each other. Casually, as if nothing had happened, Dee leaned back in his chair again and Ryo dropped his gaze to the rest of his paperwork.

"You two are shameless," Drake muttered before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"You're just jealous because you're not getting any," Dee said with a grin, and Ryo reached out to smack him lightly on the side of the head.

"Dee, stop being an ass."

Drake thought Dee had actually had a point; but bedamned if he was going to say so. He became very very interested in finishing his sandwich.

Even though Drake was worried about the kid, it was half a relief that JJ wasn't here today. Drake didn't think he'd been able to think quite straight since JJ had kissed him that one day. It felt like he was only getting his job done because he was running on some kind of police autopilot; the rest of his brain was busy trying to figure out what the hell to do about this whole JJ thing. He remembered giving a report to Ryo for proofreading - a service that almost everybody in the office solicited from the poor, good-natured Japanese-American, and which Ryo was seriously considering starting to charge for - and not recognizing it when he got it back. It wasn't because of Ryo's changes, which were very few and basically limited to spelling corrections; it was just that Drake barely remembered writing the report. He had stared at the report for two minutes, trying to recall where he'd seen those words before. It sure looked like an official police report, and that was his name on it, but when the hell had he written it?

It had pretty much been like that for the last two months.

He kept wanting to go up to Ryo and ask him how the hell he had kept his sanity for so long, working with a man who was flirting with him at every turn. JJ barely allowed him time to think -- he never knew when the sniper might spring another kiss on him.

The worst part was the confusion. Drake knew, with great and solemn certainty, that he was not gay. He wasn't very successful with women, but lack of attraction was not the problem. Usually his relationships ended because the girl had the attention span of a daisy, or the two of them realized that, despite great sex, they hated each other's guts; but he had always been genuinely attracted to every one of the women he had dated. He was just apparently attracted to all the wrong ones.

So, that was fine. The only problem was, that left no explanation for why the hell he could still feel JJ's lips on his for hours after a small kiss, or why the press of JJ's compact little body against his for ten seconds left him feeling warm for the rest of the day.

JJ's flirtation was actually kind of nice.

Drake's brain was still stalling on that.

And it had been down this train of thought at least twenty-five times over the last two months. Drake groaned and rubbed his forehead, trying to shake his thoughts into some kind of manageable order.

"Did JJ really look that bad?"

"Yeah, but knowing him he'll be at work tomorrow, all obnoxiously chipper and healthy." Dee grinned at Drake. "So don't worry, your paramour will survive."

Ryo jerked his head up to stare at Dee in surprise while Drake choked and coughed and spluttered.

"He's NOT my--"

Dee threw his head back, holding his sides as he burst into raucous laughter. "Drake, I was messing with you! But you just proved me right!"

Ryo took his glasses off and glared sternly at the other detective. "Dee, leave him alone. Honestly, what's wrong with you today?"

"Come on, Ryo, you know I'm right! Am I the only one who sees these things?"

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, Dee." Ryo pointed his pen admonishingly at his lover. "And sometimes concern for one's partner is just concern for one's partner. JJ hardly ever gets sick, and here you're telling Drake that he looked like a walking corpse."

"He did," Dee defended himself.

"And? If somebody told me that you -- wait, no. If somebody told Ted," Ryo said quickly, "that his partner looked that bad, he'd be just as worried as Drake is, I'm sure--"

"JJ's been coming on to me for the last two months."

Whatever Ryo might have said next died in his throat and he froze, mouth still open, pen still pointed at Dee. Dee also froze in mid-action, lifting his hand to point back at Ryo as he prepared a counter-argument. The two of them turned their heads to look at Drake in disbelief.

Drake was grimacing, one hand fisted in his hair."He's been flirting with me and kissing me and goddamn but I can't even think anymore, he's confusing the living fuck out of me and the damnedest thing is - is - shit, I'm so fucking confused..."

The mini-tantrum ground to a halt. Dee and Ryo looked at each other wonderingly. Then Dee broke into a huge grin.

"Sound familiar?"

Ryo put down his pen and rubbed his temple, smiling ruefully. "A little bit."

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Drake growled, glaring up at the two of them.

"You seem to have acute MacLeanitis," Dee said, grinning maniacally.

"You're sleeping on the couch for that one," Ryo grumbled.

"What are you talking about?"

Ryo turned to Drake and smiled weakly. "He's saying you're acting the same way I did when he first started making advances on me."

"And look how we turned out," Dee grinned, reaching across the desk to take Ryo's hand; Ryo gave him a weary but fond look, and squeezed Dee's hand in return.

"Yes, somehow I've learned to put up with you."

Dee immaturely stuck his tongue out at Ryo. Ryo chuckled and turned to Drake.

"But don't let my obnoxious, loud-mouthed partner here force you into a decision," Ryo told him. "It took me two years to realize that I love him."

"You're an airhead when it comes to romance, though," Dee said teasingly.

"Couch, Dee."

"Only if you join me."

Ryo closed his eyes for a moment as if pleading for divine patience. "The point is, you shouldn't rush to try and figure this out. Don't take the rest of your life, but don't try to decide by tomorrow or anything."

"You're saying it like there's something to decide," Drake growled, crumpling up his sandwich paper viciously and throwing it in the trash.

"Well, there is." It was Dee this time, speaking seriously at last. "At the very least, you have to decide whether to say yes or no."

Drake opened his mouth - probably to say something stupid like 'the answer is already no' - and found no words. He shut it again with a snap and stared obstinately at the desk.

"I'm not gay," he said finally.

"Neither am I," Dee said, at the exact same time Ryo said, "Neither is Dee." The two of them looked at each other, and Dee laughed while Ryo groaned and let his head fall to the desk.

"Look, we even talk at the same time!"

"Charming. I bet you finish each other's sentences, too," Drake muttered.

"We do," Ryo moaned.

Dee reached across the desk and ruffled Ryo's hair. "See, like I said, I'm not gay. But I'm not straight, either. I do like guys, and I'm more in love with Ryo than I thought I knew how to be." He grinned and gave Drake a thumbs-up. "Welcome to the wonderful world of bisexuality, Drake my man."

"Dee, please shut up," Ryo said, head still on the desk.

"What, I'm not allowed to express my love?" Dee made a kissy noise.

"That part's fine," Ryo said, lifting his head, "but you can't just tell somebody what they are..."

"Can you two please stop flirting at each other?" Drake groaned. "You're not making me feel any better here."

"Sorry," Ryo said, sitting up straight and putting his glasses back on as Dee withdrew his hand. "But can I give you some advice?"

Drake sighed and shrugged. "Why not?"

"If you're so worried about JJ, go pay him a visit tonight after work," Ryo suggested with a smile.

"I don't see how that'll help me figure anything out... but it's a good idea. I am worried about the little idiot," Drake admitted.

Ryo's smile was ridiculously warm and knowing. Drake tried to ignore it.


.....tbc

Comments

[white_aster]

:) I JUST read this now. I love this line:

"He grinned and gave Drake a thumbs-up. "Welcome to the wonderful world of bisexuality, Drake my man.""

:rolls on floor: I can just see him doing it, with that big cheesy grin on his face and an eyebrow-waggle.

:surreptitiously feeds JJ's lemon bunny some twinkies:

[fuyu]

:rolls on floor: I can just see him doing it, with that big cheesy grin on his face and an eyebrow-waggle.

Winking, too, almost certainly. ::g:: The FAKE boys are ever so much fun to write.

:surreptitiously feeds JJ's lemon bunny some twinkies:

XDXD If those don't do it, nothing will. Come on, little bunny, bite!