fuyu | (no subject)

Dear College/University Students, or Alternately, Anyone Over The Age Of Ten:

Please, for the love of sweet merciful Buddhafish, please, PLEASE type like you have any fucking idea what composes a word.

The pronoun "I" is capitalized. "Kewl" is no longer a cute or current slang word.

Apostrophes are IMPORTANT. "Dont" is not a word. It is letter vomit. "Aint" makes you sound like you're struggling to say "ant".

Commas are also important.

YOU ONLY EVER NEED ONE FUCKING EXCLAMATION POINT.

"Couldn't have". Never, EVER "couldn't of". (Or couldnt. See above point about letter vomit.)

I love you all, seriously, but? YOU ARE FUCKING MURDERING THE LANGUAGE. Some of us LIKE our English intact. LANGUAGE IS THE BASIS OF SOCIETY. PLEASE DO NOT UNDERMINE THIS. I ENJOY BEING ABLE TO COMMUNICATE.

You are in college. You should know better.

(Anyone younger: Please learn better before you become another college student who doesn't.)

Otherwise perfectly willing to get along with you,
Lyssie ♥

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My classmates in this summer creative writing course I took? All terrific in person, but I wanted to throw a dictionary at them sometimes, especially to the guy who kept writing "yeah" as "yea." >.>

The prof considered the use of more than one exclamation point a cardinal sin. Tons of 'em broke that rule. XD;

Language abuse makes me cry. T_T And it's not just a pet peeve. There was someone I was very fond of that I knew online before I had a chance to meet him in person. When I met him in person, he seemed twice as intelligent as he ever had online. Because my perception of his intelligence was no longer being filtered through his badly-typed text.

Proper use of language is not a quaint or antiquated practice, people. T_T

I really can't hold onto ENGLISH RAGE the way I'd like to. The language is batshit. BATSHIT.

I'm currently betaing fanfic for someone whose native language isn't English and while she's fluent in all other areas written English is obviously out to get her. I don't even know how to begin to explain all the stupid rules. Especially the ones about commas.

Because they are stupid rules. Written English is stupid and capricious and illogical, especially when compared to other languages which are all much more sensible. No language could possible need that many ways to indicate a pause.

Learning english as a second language really is not about studying, it's about practicing XD; it's something you get used to, like wearing a shoe half your size or something.

My first language is portuguese, which has some of the craziest rules ever, without mentioning the 12137848376843523718365 verbal tenses. That's probably why english isn't much of a problem to me.

I've been told several times that I write better than many natives. I used to be proud of that, but then I learned how most natives seem to write.

I've been told several times that I write better than many natives. I used to be proud of that, but then I learned how most natives seem to write.

*pat pat*

It always makes a piece of my soul die when someone who claims English as a first language mutilates it.

It's like patricide, only it affects something that's been around for much, much longer. Like grafittying a romanic cathedral or something equally heart-wrenching.

Even that isn't quite the same. Language is HOW WE COMMUNICATE. It's the basis of civilization. And written language is really important. The ancient Egyptians got that! Why can't 50% of the Internet?

Ignorance is their only excuse.

...scary how many dumb people there are in the world. I love writing in AOLer lingo to sound dumb (it makes for excellent in-jokes), but, frankly, I can't stand reading anything like that for too long. It makes me feel like my IQ points are dropping dead from the pain.

Pointing to Elanor's comment above, as she basically made the point I wanted to make about written English being very doable even for non-native speakers with practice. It's batshit and illogical and what, but your brain will sort of absorb the rules after a while.

The guy that spurred this rant was a university student in England, and he typed like this: "What i asked was what trates does a character need to make him/her worthy of being a favorite character in your opinion. How do we know that Clouds his best friend?! Cloud was just a grunt as far as we know they were on the nibleheim mission together but we dont know about other missions etc do we? We dont see cloud n zack interact other than these bits!"

If you're college/university age in an English-speaking country where you are therefore SURROUNDED BY ENGLISH, by my books you should at least know what a comma is. XD

You see, commas are holy, mysterious beings that manifest only to the initiated. To receive the power of the Comma, you need to study and accept the word of the Holy Grammar as the one truth, and follow It and cherish It in every waking moment of your life.

*glows like HOLY*

...

Here. Have the Internet. You win. XD XD XD

VICTOLY IS MINE! *poses to the fanfare*

dont act liek u knwo so much u stupid B1Y47C|-|!!!!!!!!11111111 your just jealouse bcuz i rite kewler then u LOL

Now give me a moment to put on the dunce cap.

"YOU ONLY EVER NEED ONE FUCKING EXCLAMATION POINT."

Somehow, I feel this sentence deserves an explanation point itself.

It probably does, but I thought the ALLCAPS OF RAGE made my point. XD

And it's nice to read it as some sort of loud, annoyed and yet flat complaint. XD