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Beauty and the Plothole
The KH-induced nostalgia finally reached breaking point. I sat down to watch Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin back to back last night, and man, did it take me back. Really, it kind of kicks ass to go back and watch these movies again and realize that Disney is actually a lot cooler than we thought. (That fight between Beast and Gaston? BADASS. Aladdin vs. Jafar? HOLY CRAP. This was good damn stuff, man!)
However, as much as I enjoyed this nostalgia trip, I was somewhat dismayed to realize that Beauty and the Beast, one of my favorites, had a bunch of timeline issues I couldn't figure out and had never noticed as a wee thing, such as events that should only have taken a day starting before the "Something There" montage and not resolving until after it. So I talked to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
princeali_m_fan, since she's the biggest Disney fan (and font of Disney knowledge) I know.
voodoobob: Also. Lumiere says they've been not doing much of anything for ten years. The Beast is about 21 because the rose is wilting. ... does that mean the enchantress cursed an 11-year old?
princeali_m_fan: I think so. We discussed this somewhere...*goes to find it* XD
voodoobob: XDD
voodoobob: Dear enchantress: DUDE. HE WAS ELEVEN. Give him a few years to grow up, woman. XD
voodoobob: (and, but, the portrait in the west wing. not an eleven-year-old boy. WHAT.)
princeali_m_fan: He ate his veggies! XD
voodoobob: XDDD
voodoobob: Argh. XD It just bugs me that one of my favorite childhood movies just turned out to have a plotline that doesn't make sense as to what happened when. XD
princeali_m_fan: XDD usually in situations like that we don't listen to the songs because there's always something in there that throws off the plot
princeali_m_fan: Lumiere is going crazy. He doesn't know what he's talking about xD
voodoobob: XDD
voodoobob: That doesn't solve the snowman-Lefou and what-was-poor-Maurice-just-wandering-all-winter problems, though. XD
princeali_m_fan: LeFou is a bit slow, so he really did just sit there until Belle came back XD. Maybe when we see him again it just so happens to be another day when it snows
voodoobob: BUT HE WOULD HAVE DIED OF HYPOTHERMIA FIFTY TIMES OVER. XD
princeali_m_fan: HE HAS A GOOD JACKET
voodoobob: WHAT DID HE EAT
princeali_m_fan: THE DEER THAT GRAZED BY
voodoobob: IN A TOWN?
princeali_m_fan: LEFOU IS HARDCORE
However, as much as I enjoyed this nostalgia trip, I was somewhat dismayed to realize that Beauty and the Beast, one of my favorites, had a bunch of timeline issues I couldn't figure out and had never noticed as a wee thing, such as events that should only have taken a day starting before the "Something There" montage and not resolving until after it. So I talked to
princeali_m_fan, since she's the biggest Disney fan (and font of Disney knowledge) I know.voodoobob: Also. Lumiere says they've been not doing much of anything for ten years. The Beast is about 21 because the rose is wilting. ... does that mean the enchantress cursed an 11-year old?princeali_m_fan: I think so. We discussed this somewhere...*goes to find it* XDvoodoobob: XDDvoodoobob: Dear enchantress: DUDE. HE WAS ELEVEN. Give him a few years to grow up, woman. XDvoodoobob: (and, but, the portrait in the west wing. not an eleven-year-old boy. WHAT.)princeali_m_fan: He ate his veggies! XDvoodoobob: XDDDvoodoobob: Argh. XD It just bugs me that one of my favorite childhood movies just turned out to have a plotline that doesn't make sense as to what happened when. XDprinceali_m_fan: XDD usually in situations like that we don't listen to the songs because there's always something in there that throws off the plot princeali_m_fan: Lumiere is going crazy. He doesn't know what he's talking about xDvoodoobob: XDDvoodoobob: That doesn't solve the snowman-Lefou and what-was-poor-Maurice-just-wandering-all-winter problems, though. XDprinceali_m_fan: LeFou is a bit slow, so he really did just sit there until Belle came back XD. Maybe when we see him again it just so happens to be another day when it snowsvoodoobob: BUT HE WOULD HAVE DIED OF HYPOTHERMIA FIFTY TIMES OVER. XDprinceali_m_fan: HE HAS A GOOD JACKET voodoobob: WHAT DID HE EATprinceali_m_fan: THE DEER THAT GRAZED BYvoodoobob: IN A TOWN?princeali_m_fan: LEFOU IS HARDCORE(LJ-ify your IMs before pasting!)
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Eh, just slap "Disney magic" and that fixes everything XD
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Except badfics with Riku. 8D
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No. NOTHING in the world can help that shit. Not even Mickey Mouse and that's say a lot because Mickey is Jesus with big circular ears.
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When Mickey can't fix it, you know that this shit is yea and verily fucked up.
(I just. why. why did it have to be mpreg. did Maleficent just not feel like carrying the baby herself?)
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I know, right? When Mickey gives the stamp of "fuck it; can't fix it", the world is doomed.
(Maleficent is a lazy whore. Plus, she wants to keep her figure XD)
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They say that when Mickey declares a thing unfixable, the entire universe collapses and remakes itself such that the thing never existed to begin with. ... Recent studies have produced overwhelming evidence that either this theory is wrong, or else Mickey is just not paying attention.
(Can't do evil with stretch marks!)
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Mickey has not discovered this yet, tis all. He's out promoting the good word of his fellow Disney characters, but when he returns....this will be taken care of.
(And she'd be out of commission for 9 months. Oh HELL no. This just does not compute. Hence why she gets a little man bitch to hold her baby! :D
She would have gotten her REAL man bitch Jafar, but he's too skinny to hold a baby. He'd break xD)no subject
And all shall be well. :D ... we're sounding disturbingly messianic here XD
(BAHAHAHA that completely explains it. XD)
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Hear ye! :D ...well he IS the messiah of the KH game, whether people like it or not XD
(See? There's a way around EVERYTHING xD)
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